The Last Time I Saw Summer.

In the beginning of relationships it all feels the same, that is until you confront the wall of trust withering away climaxes. Spiraling towards understanding patients perhaps will be the only way things, people, places and feelings are gonna outlast controversy.

The last time I saw Summer I gave her a kiss on her forehead and her lips right before she jumped on the bus. Into the future she dived over the horizon following her dreams. How could anyone stop her? Especially me? I remember times we spoke about everything from the pyramids and aliens. I reminisce often how she would tap her nails in perfect rhythmic timing to the tune of Mario the video game. An expressive soul Summer would paint her nails different colors daily coordinating with her mood, time and or season. Her family life much like mine included broken promises from single parents who battle with opioids and alcohol.

“One day I am gonna rise up out of this city I know there’s so much inside me!”

You could call this Summer’s mantra she would tell me this almost every day.

The last time Summer and I smoked marijuana we landed on a soft cloud together where she really opened up comfortably engaging her feelings expanding on what she was thinking. Emotional rollercoasters often involved family members such as her uncles who held little to no regard for anyone and did everything to get over on everyone.

Summer would ask me “Do you think I’m pretty or hot!?”

My reply was always the opposite of lying instantly damn near without even trying I would always let her know how beautiful she is.

The last phone call Summer and I had she was telling me how her father kept beating on her mother. In a home with no one to talk to not even her sexually abusive, addicted to antidepressants brother. Moving out wouldn’t be an option until she was 18, Summer couldn’t wait to pack up all of her things.

Holding onto her hands looking deep in her eyes I would ask.

“Where will you go?”

She would tell me.

“Anywhere away from here would be better, I just have to go.”

I dream of Summer often how she felt melting with this unique gracious reverence deep in my chest. How her smile was like gold gleaming brilliance even in the dark.

The sad truth is no one could fix Summer’s broken heart.

The last time I saw Summer I watched her ride away on that bus until the sun went down. On my way home I roamed around the city, thinking deep and hard about the future. Would I ever see her again? Would she keep in touch with me? You know how it goes when some people move away? They take with them more than what we expected. Almost like the weather we adjust to situations some are warm others send chills running up ya’ spine.

I’m sure if I see Summer again it will be much like the beginning. We’ll rest our heads on understanding patients perhaps will be the only way things, people, places and feelings are gonna outlast controversy. #TheLastTimeISawSummer