#DrawingConclusions

#DrawingConclusions

In the darkness I found myself swimming through illusion’s of others within my own my mind I found it best to articulate what I discovered. Shedding any notion of bitterness or regret I know there’s a lot I will never forget. Living content with others perception of me, that wouldn’t be truthful because I know it’s not me. I could make insidious remarks but what a wicked way to be. In a world where it seems so many could care less, how can one truly live care free? I stopped writing for a while because it felt as though I was being taken out of context. After unraveling emotions both good and bad, wrestling with my own troubles I see life through a mirror. Carefully I stand centered because reflections have to be acknowledged and what is life without the pursuit of knowledge? Revenge would be a complete waste of time. I understand that some people read for different reason’s, much like the writer who finds inspiration during different seasons. Drawing conclusions after everything is said how quickly do some forget what was meant to be heard. I admit I was disturbed by those who salivate for drama with no means of rectifying problems. I yearned for more solutions and for that reason I have decided to never contact them. Everyone has something they find difficult to speak about.

….

Think about that for a moment.

….

It’s perfectly alright to not be ok with a situation. Why are so many of us disconnected from someone because they are angry about something? I recall recently I was abandoned in a city where I didn’t know anyone. I would walk miles to work and put on my “happy face” but behind that was a person holding back tears of frustration. I would then walk miles back to an empty apartment with no lights or hot water, I wasn’t able to cook because everything was turned off. Everything except my desire to be something better than that environment was seducing me to be. And still I was very sad and angry with no way of saying it without being misunderstood. I vividly remember wanting someone to just listen to me but there was no one there. Day after day It felt like I was being buried alive. I think one of the most common misconceptions in life is being dismissive of someone when they express their anger. Let’s never forget anger is literally one letter away from danger.

And so I began to draw, rebuilding myself because to be honest sometimes that’s all you will have is yourself.

I don’t think of the people who did me wrong because what good would that do?

I just learned that some people don’t always mean what say or have the best interest for you. While writing this I can hear the rain pouring down outside,

I don’t know why but often it’s hard for me to cry yet I can feel it inside.

…. Does that make sense?

In the darkness I hold on to the light I have, the only way I can still see my path.

I can’t dwell on the past because you can’t get over if it still holds you under.

I don’t wish for anything, I strive everyday to survive.

A lot of things are not what I would like it to be and it’s ok to be mad.

Drawing conclusions away from people programmed to pollute my pure intentions. For a while I stopped writing because my words seemed to fall on defensive ears. Over the years I’ve learned some people are just wired without the proper intellectual capacity of understanding. So I continue to draw, not for them but for myself. If you are reading this, I hope whatever it is you don’t speak about with people that really hurts, you find a way to heal from it. Whatever you are angry about I hope you find a way to articulate it in a safe way and not be consumed by it. I hope the light you have even in the darkest corner sheds light on your path to success.

#DrawingConclusions.